Theory

Autumn is my Season

Its been a hell of  ride this last 6 months. Depression hit me with a sledge hammer. I managed to hold it together in the main but put up quite the fight and creativity was the looser in order for everything else to survive.  I have been to see my awesome Doc and my awesome counselor and they have helped me get a grip, the people I work with and for are amazing and the support I have had from them is incredible.
It just takes time and the time seems to be now.  I'm back and in the mood. Well almost. My life problems cant seem to move *shrug*  so Im half back

 I'm not a writer but putting it down will help me see pattern and behaviours even if I can only write when Im on a level.

I have PTSD involving the usual , with  dysthymia / persistant depressive disorder. I manage to live with this quite well I find. I've had a lot of practice at keeping it all together and keeping on, major depressive, yeah  but the tiredness and the physical pain  are killer emotionally, physically and mentally and they piss people off  close to me but I cant seem to do anything about it no matter how hard I try. It just causes a world of hurt for all concerned.  I try so hard not to lash out , be aggressive or angry but holding it all in causes  snide remarks to leave my mouth unbidden. Nothing but hurt.

This too Shall Pass.

How much?!

I'm so thrilled to be making things again, so excited to finally have the desire and especially to  discover I still have the ability, all be  it for bigger things ( small things is far beyond my fingers strength and dexterity these days.)

Pissed off of course that I don't have the bodily strength to work as much as I would like and create much more like I used to. I'm managing small productive bursts and long idle bouts but the productive bursts make me so very happy.

Then I realized that downtime isn't exactly down time and is a valued part of my creative process and equally as productive. Made me feel a whole lot better about being lazy !

To the untrained eye it may seem I'm drinking coffee, smoking my 'kid yourself you have quit smoking' electronic ciggi  and looking at your pinterest board but I'm actually being a jewelry design ninja in full flow.

My down time is usually a time when I can either design, search for inspiration  or scour the world, thank you internet, for the best materials in my price range.

 Every now and again I score big time.



Mostly I see well disguised junk and will test and destruction test it to see if its genuine.  Hammer, fire,  acid, whatever it takes. Does it float, burn ,smell,  shatter etc.

Its great fun and very therapeutic.




Sometimes I get lucky and find I have a real bargain  on my hands.
And there in lies the point of this part of the post, to show off.

Yes I just blagged a huge horde of  stunning turquoise from various mines in the south west  at a great price. Only a little fake mixed it it turns out.  Which just goes to show that even people with a good collection can be fooled from time to time.

That was going to be it, just showing off  but it has  lead me to think about the cost of a finished piece of jewelry and what it is you are actually paying for when you buy it.

We often do ourselves a disservice when pricing items and simply take manufacturing costs into account , some people even take into account packaging materials , how bold!
Well that's all very well for a mass produced item  that everyone and anyone can own but a unique piece of wearable art is very different  both to the customer and to the creator.

Take for example a hand made piece at $40 oh go on then treat yourself $100, what ?  $1000,  why not you deserve it. How is it's value determined, how is it priced?.

Cost of raw materials  of course.
The time it takes to make a well crafted and finished  piece.
Those are what we always think about and what people  are thinking about when they might  say, "I could make that for less''  I know, it makes me cringe too. But they arn't seeing a complete story, they are just  looking at the picture on the last page .

The hidden costs a creation has are many and some, very expensive.

Skills
Education , training and experience- ensuring a well crafted piece and  ensuring you are selling   genuine materials. Speaks for itself surly , yet rarely considered.

• How much did it cost for you to hone your craft?  
• How long did it take for you to be as awesome as you are? Some people go to university for 3 years costing tens of  thousands of dollars and more. Others ,  self taught through sustained effort,  making mistakes,  practice and hard work
• How much is it worth to know you are buying precious metals and genuine stones instead of plated pretty with clever fakes passing itself off as the gem of desire?

Then we get to simple time.

• Time spent sourcing the materials to enable best final cost to the customer
• Time spent  designing the piece
• Time spent ensuring the piece is shown to its best advantage, display, space costs,  internet and web fees.

All those things can be quantified and can be  added into the cost of a piece but rarely are, especially at the home based bench designer level.

Of course, when we get right down to it, the Art in a piece of unique jewelry is where its true value lies and that is priceless.

1 a Day - Reality vs the Dream

I resolved to make at least one thing a day if I was at home on an evening,  for the entire year.  so yeah yada yada yada  great idea , wot!

Well here's the skinny compadre  *Ding* Round 1

Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to get into a new routine? Very is the answer. 
No seriously, it is almost impossible, I'm just not made that way  (ding- round 2)  add to that an emotional crisis (ding- round 3) , personal baggage and life issues (ding- round 4), health issues (ding- round 5)  and a few arguments (dingdingding- round 6)  , link in some guilt at being locked away working (ding- round 7) and throw in some , dear god Im TIRED and its even harder to accomplish anything.

A little  HeAthens love for Marina on Valentines

January was bad enough with Maurice sick for a week and me sick for the next but at least I had an excuse,  I'm in week 3 of February and I have no excuse whatsoever, I am simply tired.

My work bench and  work area is a mountain of a mess.

My arthritis has kicked in again

I've misplaced  the opal I was going to make into something for a friend.

My chair is broken and hard to sit on.

I have promised to make things for too many people I love and am falling behind.

My left eye has forgotten what it is used for.

My finances are buggered thank you tax rebate, even though it was my own money I am still very thankful for it. 

My meds ...well. Ironically way to stressed to realize that the anti stress side of the meds will help with that one.  I do have a tax rebate to buy them with now though !

I have a million excuses but it really  amounts to just this...The black dog is on my heals again.

Nothing spectacular all quite mundane run of the mill everyday life problems  just lots of little things backing up and not being dealt with. Today thought they have become a big deal.

All in all its the usual downward spiral one learns to cope with , or not, with a depression. 

Depression sucks and it is a lying bastard. It doesn't whisper nasty' s in your ear, it shouts from the roof tops that your no good, you will fail,  you don't deserve, then it encourages you to wallow in self pity until it has proved itself right... and you fight it , sometimes you win sometimes you loose. 

I attempted visiting a loved one at her housewarming party  , I managed to stay out for all of 30 minutes. I got to see her face and that was enough but the anxiety was too much and I left.  It made me realize there was more to the being rubbish this week than I realized,  funny how even after all these years I still don't notice the black dog creeping up. <insert lots of doom , pain and gloom here - I wont or it will seem  way too self pitying  and morbid> 
February week 3 was killer and not in a good way, bring it on week 4 I am ready to fight now I know whats going on  and I shall  fight hard you bastard.

Effort and Desire are no Match for Skill and Youtube Videos

I came across this in a piece I was reading  in a Jewelry Designers  blog the other day.

” I kept a few  rejects and unloved pieces for myself, some to wear and some to remind me that I didn’t actually know it all and some of my ideas are not as amazing as I first thought. A little reminder not to be too cocky and not to make the same mistakes again.”

I liked it as I did the same  and still have a few kicking about  here and there.

When I started making jewelry I had no idea  the use of texture and finish  to any given piece. I  had no idea  how to achieve the look I was going for, especially with my cup and ring marking drops.

 I  wanted them to look like they had just been dug from a site of archeological unimportance.

Living in Northumberland  (UK)  with a love of and being surrounded by stone circles , standing stones and the ancient carvings upon them I  decided to use up all my silver scraps to make/ create  a selection of little pendent pieces showing  cup and ring markings. Little heavy charms.  What I came up with was ok, sold well, quickly and I was very happy with my melted droplets hammered into rough thick and flat shapes. The markings were crudely shaped wire soldered to the surface. I thought they were glorious works of art but have to say  looking back they were just terrible. 

I didn’t know there was a difference  difference between aged and badly finished.

I was producing badly executed and badly finished work.

Oh I put a lot of work into each piece,I melted the silver scrap  and poured it into one of the many naturally occurring  shallow forms  in my garden path then began hammering the silver on the  step leading into my workshop, of course being self taught (by self taught I mean , I dived in and did it, )  I hadn’t read anything about the wonder that is annealing yet or the worth of a steel block.

 It might have been 50 times or more  effort expended  compared to  a well executed and well finished piece today.

Today I  oil my steel block and give thanks for it. I  polish with  papers and grit sheets  and look after my three hand files. They are all well used and it shows.  The difference in time alone between a totally hand made and hand finished piece compared to a hand made and machine finished piece way back when... I cant even fathom how I managed to do it.

Just Wow!

What a great and productive time 2015 is turning out to be. All a work in progress as usual but seriously, dude!
I have a web page, I have a twitter, I have a facebook I can haz it all.
Maurice has been supporting me with love and graphics and has designed me up a storm. A full logo suite with this beauty as my ident and I love it. That's why he is a graphic designer and a fucking great one at that.

I have a gazillion copper pieces in progress all 3/4 way to completion form working a couple of hours each day through January, something I will keep up through the year. I have a fantastic and groovy camera ,a super apt  Christmas gift from Shari to learn to photograph my pieces with and Nuçi's Space has a silent auction coming up and I  have always wanted to put something in the silent auction.

2015 Bring it!

Deco

There is a sweet spot in the world of nouveau where the jewelry produced was possibly the most beautiful of all time. It’s a crossing point that incorporates  glorious geometry , curves and colours  to die for.

Go too far to either side and its all triangles or the pretty curly haired  fairies above but that sweet spot is a treat for  the eye.

Insects, sea creatures and best of all